MIDWEEK HUMOUR....

[Southernboy]

ANYONE WHO KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT LIFE SAVING WILL PUT THEIR MONEY ON THE GIRL ON THE RIGHT TO REVIVE THIS GUY......

[alec.m]

I think he`ll play dead for a while longer! Is that how they teach it in South Africa?

[Southernboy]

.... yeah...It's called the "kiss of life" I think... never been on the course... and not likely to either....

[alec.m]

[Davejue1]

Happy happy days!

[bertiejaffa]

right, Im off to the beach

[Bonzo]

Blow that!

[bertiejaffa]

Blow that!

promise?

[Dave L2]

.... yeah...It's called the "kiss of life" I think... never been on the course... and not likely to either....

Why not? you could play the survivor

[Southernboy]

..... it's not a "survival" course.....

[alec.m]

HELP, I`m drowning......send in the girls

[Buz007]

I never realised this was the benny hill forum? What's with the influx of poor smut? Can the moderators do something about this. We have female members too. It's quite pathetic

[Southernboy]

...... I guess the female members don't have a sense of humour by your estimation, or possibly you consider they aren't adult enough ?.... All things considered, the original post was subtle enough to be inoffensive... the subsequent comments may be somewhat risque... but nothing posted is demeaning to women... mostly they are observations of "normal" human activity.
I would hazard to say, your comments were "tongue in cheek"... or is that a tongue in your cheek ?...

[Southernboy]

Here are a couple of "non-offensive female member appreciated jokes".... Oh and for those male members concerned with the purity of the female mind...

Aristotelian kiss
a kiss performed using techniques gained solely from theoretical speculation untainted by any experiential data by one who feels that the latter is irrelevant anyway.

Heisenbergian kiss
a hard-to-define kiss--the more it moves you, the less sure you are of where the kiss was; the more energy it has, the more trouble you have figuring out how long it lasted. Extreme versions of this type of kiss are known as "virtual kisses" because the level of uncertainty is so high that you're not quite sure if you were kissed or not. Virtual kisses have the advantage, however, that you need not have anyone else in the room with you to enjoy them.

Wittgensteinian kiss
the important thing about this type of kiss is that it refers only to the symbol (our internal mental representation we associate with the experience of the kiss--which must necessarily also be differentiated from the act itself for obvious reasons and which need not be by any means the same or even similar for the different people experiencing the act) rather than the act itself and, as such, one must be careful not to make unwarranted generalizations about the act itself or the experience thereof based merely on our manipulation of the symbology therefor.

Hegelian kiss
dialiptical technique in which the kiss incorporates its own antithikiss, forming a synthekiss.

Kantian kiss
a kiss that, eschewing inferior "phenomenal" contact, is performed entirely on the superior "noumenal" plane; though you don't actually feel it at all, you are, nonetheless, free to declare it the best kiss you've ever given or received.

Kafkaesque kiss
a kiss that starts out feeling like it's about to transform you but ends up just bugging you.

Nietzscheian kiss
"she/he who does not kiss you, makes your lust stronger."

Zenoian kiss
your lips approach, closer and closer, but never actually touch.

..... and of course... The kiss of life...which was the original post..... now I ask, which suits you most ?

[Bonzo]

I never realised this was the benny hill forum? What's with the influx of poor smut? Can the moderators do something about this. We have female members too. It's quite pathetic

Come come now, that a bit hard to swallow!

[maurice the martian]

Funny, i like it .But then, I am pathetic.
M

Sent from my GT-N8010 using Tapatalk

[alec.m]

Benny Hill was so funny