The Marmite Accessory

Richardenigma · Post by **Richardenigma** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 20:00

Fitted this 'auto-mask' (or 'bra' as its known colloquially) over the weekend to keep the flies off and any flying stones...

The design is slightly flawed but can be relatively easily fixed which should make the 'fit' better but the 'under bonnet' straps are a triumph of the 'close your eyes and hope' school of engineering but again with some thought can be sorted...the RHS is, as a consequence of the pre-modification design, a little 'off beam' which you can see as the headlight washer is covered up!

That just leaves the look...it behooves me to say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but my experience of this forum tells me that to opine is to be right so at the risk of inviting a deluge of negative comments let me be clear...I like its quirkiness...I also like the bemused look from 'eurobox drivers'.

So who likes 'the mask' then?

TaffZee · Post by **TaffZee** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 20:07

Missing a coffee table & a standard lamp all the comforts of home

Practical but ugly.

TitanTim · Post by **TitanTim** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 20:21

I'm intrigued as I never seen one which is one piece, I will be brutally honest it looks plain awful

but I know why you have fitted one, I have been tempted by just the bonnet part for longer trips but always worried about it rubbing and scratching the paintwork

Tim.

Richardenigma · Post by **Richardenigma** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 20:26

TitanTim

Don't get the 'half bra'...I got one in white for my M (they don't do a full version for the M) and to be honest it looked less like a bra and more like a pair of Y-Fronts...it looked...yes 'pants'...

The fit will improve and get tighter when I've sorted the design flaw but it is what it is...

Jamezee · Post by **Jamezee** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 20:32

I must admit that I was considering buying a bra but have now changed my mind.

J1SUA · Post by **J1SUA** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 20:34

My mate loves these and has had them on a range of BMWs. Each to their own and that but not for me and you car will get the wrong attention now IMO. Serves it's purpose well though I guess

Hard Top · Post by **Hard Top** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 20:36

Looks a bit....Sid Snot!!!!!!!

HT

.

hornel Z3M · Post by **hornel Z3M** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 20:54

I have looked at it twice and it looks like a black and white cow. I dont know why but it does.

Hard Top · Post by **Hard Top** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 21:02

Hornel, they are called 'Fresians'

HT.

Jamezee · Post by **Jamezee** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 21:07

Hard Top wrote:Looks a bit....Sid Snot!!!!!!!

HT

.

Blimey, that's a blast from the past, you've got me on u bend now watching the old clip's

snoops · Post by **snoops** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 21:17

My other half has just looked at this thread with me and whilst I was trying to think of the words he just said "and he drives it with that on" ...
yes I replied and he just gave me a look and some comment about BMW drivers.

I have to say I agree - its awful to look at but if you've fitted it for practical purposes then only you will know if it "does the job."

It certainly isn't pretty to look at and completely spoils the lines of the car...but just my little humble opinion.

Post by **Robert T** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 21:19

Only if your car is called Zorro.

Cheers R.

rgf · Post by **rgf** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 21:24

Sorry not for me.
Not sure it fits so well - perhaps you needed a different cup size (that's a technical term).
I think you have boobed with this one. Hope you don't feel too much of a tit in it.

Jamezee · Post by **Jamezee** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 21:27

was zorro into all that

gookah · Post by **gookah** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 21:42

Looks like something you can only you get from a 'Specialist' licensed shop....

(or so I've heard)

trigg35 · Post by **trigg35** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 21:48

i dont really get these things.its like having naff seat covers to preserve the seats for the next owner to enjoy.you cant take it with you so live for now and use it in all its beauty.if you dont the next person to own it sure will.i take mine down a farm track everyday and flies and stone chips are the least of my worries(splitting the fuel tank/tearing a hole in the exhaust/sump damage or removing the front spoiler are more of a concern).just wash the car once a week and dont drive too close to the car in front.

swamper · Post by **swamper** » Wed 20 Apr, 2011 22:35

put some braces on on it and it would look the part

MickJ · Post by **MickJ** » Thu 21 Apr, 2011 05:15

Not for me, but if you are happy to drive round with it on, so be it.

OXO · Post by **OXO** » Thu 21 Apr, 2011 06:25

Did you make it yourself?

Richardenigma · Post by **Richardenigma** » Thu 21 Apr, 2011 08:29

My secret is out Oxo...I converted some of my thongs...

I completely accept the point about why would I protect the bonnet by using the mask when there are greater potential dangers...and for the record I do wash it every week (it's white and that requirement comes with the territory)!

I've taken it off as it needs to be modified and it shouldn't be on for more than 7 days continually apparently...I also only intend to use it for prolonged hot spells (so hardly ever I hear you say) which might minimise its appearance!

Don't forget that tits can and do exist even without a bra...and generally they're much more visible as a result

muckyman · Post by **muckyman** » Thu 21 Apr, 2011 10:33

no offense intended fella, but christ almighty - thats ugly!!
Why would you fit a gimp mask to such a lovely car?
Fitting some protection film would be sooooo much better

But, each to their own - it would be a boring world if we all had the same tastes

BimBeema · Post by **BimBeema** » Thu 21 Apr, 2011 10:38

muckyman wrote: gimp mask

Richardenigma · Post by **Richardenigma** » Thu 21 Apr, 2011 10:54

No offence taken muckeyman...

Have considered the protective film approach and may revisit it...

maurice the martian · Post by **maurice the martian** » Thu 21 Apr, 2011 17:08

Sorry Richard ,but i dont like it either ,spoiles the whole look of the Zed.
Come to think of it ,it reminds me of Hannibal Lechter

Maurice

TitanTim · Post by **TitanTim** » Thu 21 Apr, 2011 19:12

I had the clear film applied to the bumper and bonnet when I had the Cooper S, its the way to go if your worried about chipping, downside its expensive and not really a DIY job. It took the guy 6 hours to do the job

and was around £400 from what I can remember.

Alternatively have a respray

Tim.

Malcolm E Zed · Post by **Malcolm E Zed** » Fri 22 Apr, 2011 10:03

Paint Protection Film is the way forward.

John Wilson · Post by **John Wilson** » Fri 22 Apr, 2011 15:17

I know that postings are trying to be polite, but it really is the most terrible abuse of a lovely white z3 to put that leather monstrosity on the front. There is a lot of worry about the odd mark on the bodywork of cars by some owners on this site and I think that a lot of the enjoyment of owning such a car is lost if you are obsessively worried about one or two scars. I have heard one owner say that if his perfect car gained any marks, he would have to sell it. I believe that mosques are deliberately built with some inperfections in them because Moslims believe that nothing except God should be perfect. And carvings in some churches have a small section left unfinished for the same reason. I think that this sort of attitude frees us to enjoy our possesions more fully. I have often heard people who have just bought a brand new car are a lot happier after it has received its first mark, as they no longer have to worry about it. So, I suggest, we should buy a tube of touch up paint, put the roof down (without worrying about the rear window getting scratched) and have some fun.

TitanTim · Post by **TitanTim** » Fri 22 Apr, 2011 15:39

I think part of the problem here is the bra just isn't a very good fit, I have seen them on Zeds which are much better fitted, I think it being a white zed also doesnt help. I can understand what the owner is trying to do and I wouldn't knock someone trying to preserve his pride and joy

Tim.

Richardenigma · Post by **Richardenigma** » Fri 22 Apr, 2011 15:44

As the arbiter of 'good taste', albeit self-appointed, I thank you for your candour...I would counsel you to avoid the temptation to speak for everyone else or indeed draw an erronneous conculsion about why I chose to buy and use the mask. I'm neither obsessive or compulsive and even drive both my Zeds 'au naturelle' as and when the fancy grabs me...I've even been known to smile once in a while

Clearly you are not a fan of an auto-mask and as its your opinion who am I to gainsay it...but thanks for participating John

John Wilson · Post by **John Wilson** » Fri 22 Apr, 2011 15:57

I haven't drawn my own conclusions about why you fitted the mask. I just read your own comments about why you fitted it, at the beginning of your post. I hope I havent offended you- I love your z, would like a white one myself. Thats why I think its a shame to cover it up.

Richardenigma · Post by **Richardenigma** » Fri 22 Apr, 2011 16:27

No offence taken John...its hard to convey meaning over and above the written word on here and I suspect I may have been a little sensitive!

Having had my M resprayed as a consequence of stone damage I was keen to try something preventative but even though I like the mask the fact that this one is ill-fitting doesn't really help I'd have to concede!

Just be grateful I didn't show you the white 'half-bra'...I put it on once and immediately took it off and vowed never to use it again!

billz · Post by **billz** » Fri 22 Apr, 2011 19:26

I have a Colgan Bra mine has got a carbon effect, are we allowed to have them sort of number plates

I only intend to use ours for the cruises we go on due to the fact when we went on the Wales one our car got peppered with stone chips, We are going to get the front end resprayed when we get back off our hols, so we wont bother using it till after that is done.
bill

TitanTim · Post by **TitanTim** » Fri 22 Apr, 2011 19:31

billz wrote:I have a Colgan Bra mine has got a carbon effect, are we allowed to have them sort of number plates I only intend to use ours for the cruises we go on due to the fact when we went on the Wales one our car got peppered with stone chips, We are going to get the front end resprayed when we get back off our hols, so we wont bother using it till after that is done.
bill

Out of interest where did you get yours from? any pics to share?

Cheers.

Tim.

billz · Post by **billz** » Fri 22 Apr, 2011 19:37

I got ours from America Tim, hence why i am asking about the Number Plate. Its a 2 piece one. I will stick it oneither when i get back from work tomorrow or Sunday and take some pics and post them.
bill

TitanTim · Post by **TitanTim** » Fri 22 Apr, 2011 19:43

billz wrote:I got ours from America Tim, hence why i am asking about the Number Plate. Its a 2 piece one. I will stick it oneither when i get back from work tomorrow or Sunday and take some pics and post them.
bill

Cheers bill, just been looking on their website, it says theyre custom made so I guess if you send them our plate dimensions then they'll make one to fit.

Tim.

billz · Post by **billz** » Fri 22 Apr, 2011 19:45

I know they are mainly for the US market, i only gave them my address and assumed they would do it for the UK version but hey assumptions a dangerous thing, so now the bottom wont fit

only way is to put that style of plate on but that isnt an issue if its legal.
bill

TitanTim · Post by **TitanTim** » Fri 22 Apr, 2011 19:52

billz wrote:I know they are mainly for the US market, i only gave them my address and assumed they would do it for the UK version but hey assumptions a dangerous thing, so now the bottom wont fit only way is to put that style of plate on but that isnt an issue if its legal.
bill

oh

I don't think you can fit a different sized plate for it to stay legal

Tim.